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Toxic Union Healing: Utilising The Gray Rock Method (Safely)

By on July 18, 2021

Toxic Union Healing: Utilising The Gray Rock Method (Safely)

The Gray Rock Method could be an extremely effective way to deal with a narcissist who you need to nevertheless connect to on a basis that is regular. Interacting with a narcissist may be extremely irritating, specially when it matters which they understand just what you’re saying.

I can’t let you know exactly exactly how often times I’ve felt exasperated whenever wanting to have easy conversations with narcs who possess become agitated and that are earnestly gaslighting.

They’ll be thicker than concrete walls, deliberately wanting to misunderstand you and assume the worst of you, atlanta divorce attorneys word that is single. You are experiencing hopeless like you’re unable to produce your point – and if you’re just like me, it is particularly irritating since you probably don’t have any issue interacting with literally everybody else that you know.


After all – honestly, it has happened certainly to me more times than I’m able to count during conversations with narcissists – and I also have always been a author whom communicates for a full time income.

Therefore awhile right straight right back, we published this post in regards to the only means to effortlessly keep in touch with a narcissist, plus in my experience, it is the reality. Into the post, We mentioned the Gray Rock Method, it came from so I thought I’d offer a bit of background and explanation of where.

Whom created the “Gray Rock” Method?

In so far as I can inform during my research, the “Gray Rock” technique had been therefore called by an individual called Skylar in this article, printed in 2012.

In component, Skylar claims the rock that is gray is, “primarily a means of encouraging a narcissist, psychopath, stalker or any other emotionally unbalanced people, to reduce fascination with you.”

So how exactly does the Gray Rock Method change from the rule that is no-Contact?

Skylar says that the huge difference is “you don’t blatantly make an effort to avoid experience of the disordered person.”

Rather, she recommends, “you enable contact but just provides bland, monotonous reactions so the mentally-unwell individual must get somewhere else to have their dependence on drama gratified.”

Skylar adds: ” One might state that Gray Rock is an easy method of separating with a psychopath utilizing the old, ‘It’s maybe not you, it is me’ excuse, except which you behave it away rather than saying it while the psychopath comes compared to that summary on his or her own.”

How does the Gray Rock Method work?

In accordance with Skylar: “There are grey rocks and pebbles wherever you go, however you never ever notice them. Not one of them attract your attention. You don’t keep in mind any rock that is specific saw today since they blend using the scenery. This is the types of boring that you would like to channel whenever you are coping with a psychopath. Your bland persona will camouflage both you as well as the psychopath won’t also there notice you were. This technique hits in the middle regarding the psychopath’s motivation: in order to avoid monotony.”

Do you know the most critical aspects of effectively making use of the Gray Rock Method?

Rule number 1 in terms of exercising the Gray Rock Method would be to never ever inform the narcissist you’re doing therefore. Should you choose, he’ll positively figure out a means to utilize it against you.

Never ever inquire for the narcissist and don’t offer any “committal” responses – simply say things such as “hmm” or “mhmm” – keep it casual.

If at all possible, discuss just “safe” topics, for instance the news, social media fashion that is– cooking, etc. absolutely absolutely Nothing that could be individual – whether or not the narc begs you for this. Drama complimentary could be the real option to be!

Act as sidetracked throughout the discussion so you don’t need to directly look the narcissist when you look at the attention the entire time. Ensure it is one thing easy like doodling in a notebook or checking your texts, or something like that more difficult such as for example knitting a scarf or focusing on a San Diego backpage female escort document for work. During the conversation if you focus a bit more on your activity, you won’t be as directly affected by the narcissist’s attempts to manipulate you.

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